The Endless Loop of “What If”

We’ve all been there replaying moments in our mind with a heavy heart.
What if I hadn’t said that?
What if I didn’t react that way?
What if I could’ve been there more?

These “what ifs” often flood in after we’ve gone through something difficult. They whisper to us when we’re tired, overwhelmed, or emotionally stretched and the list of them can feel endless.

But what if we started to change that narrative? What if, instead of spiralling in regret, we gently told ourselves:
I did my best.
I’m learning and growing.
I acknowledge my actions and choose to move forward.

 

Why Do We Hold Onto the “What Ifs”?

Often, these thoughts come from a place of caring but also from guilt, anger, stress, or frustration. When life becomes challenging, our reactions can be automatic. We might shut down, lash out, or withdraw, not because we’re careless, but because we’re human.

These moments don’t define us. But when they begin to impact our peace of mind or strain our relationships especially the one we have with ourselves it’s time to pause and reflect.

 

You Have the Power to Change the Story

I’m not a psychologist or a scientist. But I do know this:
Our thoughts are powerful, and we have more control over them than we sometimes believe.

You can change the way you speak to yourself.
You can shift your internal dialogue from judgment to understanding.
You can release what’s weighing you down.

 

Let It Out Don’t Let It Linger

When those “what if” moments start to take over, don’t let them stay stuck in your mind. Write them down. Get them out. It doesn’t matter if the situation seems big or small your feelings are valid.

Expressive writing offers a safe, judgment-free outlet for everything you’re holding inside. It won’t erase the past, but it will help you see it with more compassion and perspective.

When we give our thoughts a place to land, we take away their power to consume us. We begin to reclaim peace.

 

A Simple Journaling Practice for “What If” Moments

Next time those thoughts begin to swirl, try this gentle practice:

• Write them down raw and unfiltered. Let it all out.
• Ask yourself: Is this thought helping me or hurting me?
• Reframe it with compassion, for example:
  • What if I did the best I could with what I knew at the time?
  • What if I can grow from this and move forward?
  • What if I choose to forgive myself today?

This practice won’t silence every worry, but it gives your mind a safe place to breathe and helps you shift toward healing.

 

Protecting Your Peace

Your mental wellbeing matters. And one of the kindest things you can do for yourself is to let go of the harsh self-talk that “what ifs” often carry.

You deserve to replace those thoughts with new truths:

• I showed up the best I could.
• I’m learning every day.
• I choose compassion over self-criticism.

Give yourself the grace you so freely give to others. And when the “what ifs” come calling pick up your pen and set them free.